FROM BUNGOMA TO THE WORLD

BY DENNIS MILIMO

The news of Jehovah Wanyonyi, the self-proclaimed  “god” in Bungoma  shock the world , as this man of the  Israel church claimed to be  the sent  “god” to rescue  the world with all the powers that one can imagine the God he serves  has.

So, lately Bungoma have been making headlines right, left and Centre, at the same time also trending on Twitter for two consecutive days. After the mysterious disappearance of Jehovah Wanyonyi, the followers of his church have been clinging on different theories to try and explain the where about of Jehovah Wanyonyi.  Many Kenyans were meant to believe that Jehovah Wanyonyi died the time news broke to the world.

But do hold your tempo, recently I met with Angel Joab and prophetess Akata who claimed Jehovah had sent them to deliver a message to the world. According to the two who are believed to be staunch believers of the Israel church, Jehovah Wanyonyi their “god”  transformed himself to a creature that cannot be seen by bare human eyes but only his angels and prophetess and  he lives somewhere in the sea.

They claimed that Jehovah was a furious “god” where he is, as two people are misleading the world and that is Barack Obama and Pope Francis whom Jehovah Wanyonyi will be taking away soon. Let’s hit pause and wait.

As it goes, the Guinness Book of Records will have to recognize the Bukusu tribes all the way from Bungoma, as their tribe members are busy trying to break and create new categories in this famous book.

Just the other day a Bukusu Octogenarian all the way from Nandolia village near Nzoia Sugar Company, wrote his own version of the Bible with a total of 93 books instead of the usual 66 books we are used to in our normal Holy Bible. Books like Agnes, Geoffrey, Mfarisayo, Paulo and many more are in this Bible. His name is Nabii Yohana who happens to have married 36 wives and blessed with 98 children only less two to hit a century. So, it’s just a matter of time and we will be having Nabii Yohana’s Bible version on the market.

Then do you remember this man? Timothy Khamala. The man of the famous slogan “My Bukusu Darling” who gave various TV and radio stations topics for discussion. Khamala went against all odds and taboos of the Indian community and married Sarika Patel, the daughter of a rich businessman in Webuye. Sarika choose to settle with the poor man who was rich at heart.  As it goes love conquers all, but as I am introducing Bungoma officially to the world their marriage seems to have hit the rock.

My friend, love is like a theory lesson in class and maintaining a wife in marriage is the practical part of it. Do test the waters if you are capable of carry own.

Alaine Laughton all the way from Jamaica came in the native of Kenya to search for a Wafula who can only be found in Bungoma. The famous queen of the Jamaican music had recorded a song titled “Wafula” and during the video shoot she had to visit Wafula in the village and at least mingle with him.  Maybe this are some of the reasons Bungoma should just be recognized like any other state in the USA, like Miami or Washington.

We Kenyans tend to forget so easily, But I won’t be tired of reminding you. Do you remember the non-carcinogenic wheelbarrows that were priced at 109,000 each in Bungoma County? The Governor called for a press conference to at least explain to tax payers why such kinds of wheelbarrows are so expensive. It seems everybody was contended with the explanation given by the governor as no one still talks about this extra ordinary expenditure.

On Friday, Bungoma was trying to enter the Guinness World Book of Records after Saleh “James Bond” Wanjala clinched on a flying Helicopter for some 700 meters in the air. Maybe he was listening to the song “I believe I can fly” by R-Kelly and decided to give it a try. Others said he is a beneficiary of wings to fly sponsored by Equity bank.

Allow me to say sorry to this brother of mine who is recovering at Bungoma referral Hospital under tight security has he got a case to answer in court for trying to commit suicide.

From the movies somewhere in Hollywood to down here in Bungoma, Saleh Wanjala did it. He was all over social and main stream media as a topical issue of discussion.

He managed to give the famous CNN breaking news, who never reports anything positive about Africa, Kenya being part of it.  On the hand BBC tweeted about this African superman who had done the unthinkable.

I now present Bungoma to the world and ask Mr. President to build a State House in this area, so that he can witness these rare happenings by himself.

My last advice goes to IMAX, whom should shift one of their show rooms to Bungoma, as Movie lovers are part of the movie, as the IMAX slogan states “Be part of the movie”.